Turning Question Marks (?) into Exclamation Points (!)

It happened when my friend’s son first started learning to drive.

He had just passed his written test and received his learner’s permit, which allowed him to drive with a guardian. Excited and full of confidence, he took the wheel one day with his mother beside him. But as he drove, he followed the car in front much too closely.

His mother repeatedly warned, “Keep more distance between you and the car ahead,” but he brushed her off, saying, “It’s okay, I know what I’m doing.” Just then, the car in front slammed on the brakes and turned left suddenly, forcing the car behind it to stop abruptly as well. Startled, the boy jerked the wheel, but it was too late—he hit the rear of the car ahead. The car was badly damaged, and one of the tires even burst.

The son was terrified, and the mother was furious. Yet after taking a deep breath, she calmly said, “Well done. This accident has been a great lesson. Now you’ve learned how important it is to keep a safe distance.” Her son’s face brightened instantly, and from that day on, he became one of the most careful and responsible drivers around. Had she scolded him instead, he might have grown up fearful of driving for life.

Turning a rebuke into a lesson through praise—that is the wisdom of true education.

On Albert Einstein’s high school report card, a teacher once wrote, “This student lacks focus and is too scatterbrained to succeed.” Reading that, young Einstein was deeply discouraged. But his mother said to him, “You’re different from the other children. Your teacher just doesn’t recognize your genius. Being scatterbrained only means you’re curious about many things. I believe in your potential.”

That faith and encouragement gave birth to what we now know as the Theory of Relativity. A single word of praise and belief can change a person’s destiny.

Not long ago at church, I met a woman—small in stature, elegantly dressed—but her expression was always filled with dissatisfaction. Each time we met, I would tell her, “You look so lovely today.”

Over time, her appearance didn’t change as much as her expression did—her face began to light up with warmth. We gradually became close friends. One day she said, “At first, your compliments sounded insincere. But after hearing them over and over, I started to think, maybe it’s true. I wanted to live up to them.”

Once she began to want to be worthy of praise, she started taking better care of herself—and eventually, she also began to compliment others freely. Today, she says that compliments have become the threads that connect people’s hearts with warmth.

A psychologist once conducted an interesting experiment.

Teachers were told that certain randomly chosen students were expected to make great academic progress that year.

Believing it, the teachers gave those students more encouragement and praise. The results were astonishing—their grades actually improved.

This phenomenon is called the Pygmalion Effect, named after the Greek myth of King Pygmalion, who fell in love with a statue of a woman he had carved. Moved by his love, the gods brought the statue to life. Praise and belief, likewise, have the power to breathe life into others.

We all love receiving compliments but often find it hard to give them.

The reason praise doesn’t come easily is that it’s not yet part of our nature. Interestingly, if we don’t practice giving compliments, we stop noticing reasons to give them. But once it becomes a habit, we begin to see only what’s worth praising.

Those who are stingy with praise tend to be quick with criticism. Yet criticism only makes people defensive, lowering their confidence and motivation.

Praise begins with the effort to find something to praise. With positive eyes, the world reveals its beauty.

Everyone has something worth admiring:

Someone may not have large eyes, but they’re clear and bright.

Another may have a broad face, yet it gives a sense of warmth.

Some dress simply but harmoniously; others cook delicious meals with modest ingredients.

Some work slowly but finish carefully; others make mistakes yet act quickly and efficiently.

If we look for these traits, we’ll see that everyone can be a subject of praise.

They say praise is a tonic for the soul. Indeed, a single word of encouragement can change a life.

The philosopher William James said, “The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”

And Sigmund Freud observed, “People can resist aggression, but they are powerless against praise.”

Words of affirmation truly hold astonishing power to move the human heart.

Words are like fragrance.

No matter how beautiful a flower may look, if it smells bad, no one wants to keep it nearby.

Likewise, a simple flower with a gentle scent can fill a whole room with sweetness.

Our words are the same—one sentence can heal someone’s heart, or break it.

Proud words bring misfortune; humble words bring happiness.

Short, heartfelt phrases like “I love you!”, “Thank you!”, “I’m sorry!”, “Great job!”, “You’re the best!”, “I’ll pray for you!”, and “You’ll do well!”—these simple exclamations make life beautiful.

We speak countless words each day. But speech is more than sound—it is character, thought, and love.

The Bible says, “The tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity” (James 3:6), and “The tongue has the power of life and death” (Proverbs 18:21).

Indeed, a single word can destroy—or save—a life.

Recently, we heard the heartbreaking news of a celebrity who ended her life under the weight of cruel online comments.

By contrast, a famous motivational speaker who grew up in poverty once shared that her mother always told her, “You will be successful one day.” Those words of faith became reality—she is now known not only in Korea but around the world.

So, let’s change our words:

Instead of “Why are you late again?”, try “Thanks for hurrying even though you were busy!”

Instead of “You messed up again?”, say “That’s much better than last time!”

Instead of “Why didn’t you answer the phone?”, say “I’m just glad nothing happened to you!”

When we replace question marks (?) with exclamation points (!), irritation gives way to warmth, and frustration turns into gratitude.

When our kind words linger like fragrance in the hearts of others, everyday life becomes gentler and happier.

As we grow older, our bodies weaken and pains increase. Politics and the economy often seem grim and uncertain. Yet, wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could still keep our hearts joyful?

One autumn night, I looked up at the sky and saw a bright full moon. Even when anxiety and fear pass through our hearts, the peace and hope that come from looking at the moon can also be found through words of praise.

Indeed, praise is the power that makes life blossom with happiness.

A single word of encouragement gives confidence, courage, and strength to lean on one another.

As Proverbs 16:24 reminds us: “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

May this November be a month filled with generous praise—and may your warm, exclamation-filled words bring happiness to someone’s day.

Ha ha ha! Keep smiling! I love you all.